Questions Answered

In the village of Clan Lightfoot, days passed mostly quietly and routinely. Many of the younger Halflings, including me, longed for more. Oh sure, we made mischief and pranked each other, but we all wondered why we had been taught our way if we never were to use it. Orc raids were nearly nonexistent and even if they did come, our help wasn’t needed. What good is this service in the guard if we never use it? We don’t practice, we aren’t challenged, we will become weary and lazy like most of our parents.

I sat with Kami one afternoon talking about these things and throwing rocks into the open mouth of the underdark cave we were forbidden to enter,

“Don’t you want something, anything to do Kami?”

“Not really. I just want to finish this silly service time and get married to a good man, maybe Kenan, and be happy. Why don’t you ever just want to be happy, Tava?”

“Don’t you care about history, our past, your great grandparents? Don’t you wonder about the legends they taught us, where they come from, why, and why do we still honor them?”

“Will that make you happy, T? If it’ll make you happy, then yeah, I wanna’ know, too.”

“Brat. You’re hopeless. That’s it, I’m going to pester the elders again and I’m not letting up until they tell me something or do something or something. I am so sick of the some day you will understand crap. Wanna’ go with?”

“Oh T, someday you’ll understand, (snicker).”

With a playful smack, I left Kami there to go do the thing I do every week, ask more questions. Surely they cannot stay relentless in there silence. There must be a way or something I haven’t said right or maybe if I cry, no. Heh, I almost won that time with the whole I’m just a girl thing, until Granny Lightfoot showed me her dark robe and said someday you will understand child. Pah! When, when?
By this time, I knew my way to the training hall where we first were sworn. I made sure no one followed, not even a bird, as usual until I came to the grand steps. They really didn’t seem so grand anymore and I felt like I was just walking into the clubhouse in the woods. That would roil ‘em. Maybe I’ll throw that one out.

“Ah, Tava. What brings you buy today?”

Well, Savin, make a wild guess.”

“So impatience brings you yet again. Perhaps it is time for you.”

“What? How did……, I mean yeah, right, it’s time. Um, what does that mean Savin?”

“If you cannot be taught by us then maybe it is time for the world to teach you. I will confer with the others and you may return here tomorrow. Answer just this for now Tava, are you afraid to die?”

“What?”

“Answer me, Tava. Do you fear death?”

“Well….I mean….I don’t know….no. No. No I don’t. I don’t fear death just as I don’t fear any of you.”

“Then return tomorrow, dear child.”

Well that was certainly different. What are those old coots up to now? Come back tomorrow is only a little better than you will understand someday. I waited this long, what’s another day?

“You have returned Tava. Are you ready to hear our decision?”

“Yes, Savin. Please tell me.”

“Come into the council room. They are waiting.”

“Tava Lightfoot, sworn. Will you this day swear once again upon your ancestors and upon your duty and upon our way to never speak of this day again, to any?”

“I will swear.”

“You will be given more training and you will be sent away, into the underdark, on a mission for your people. You will never speak of your homeland. You will never reveal your given name and you will not see those you care for from this day forward until you return though you may not return. That is your decision. Do you understand?”

“Yes my council, I understand.”

“Alright then, we can take off these stupid hot robes and get to it.”

“What…..Th-thank you. Oh thank you all so much. I have been waiting and waiting.”

“We know young daughter, we know. We believe you will serve us well as many have before.”

From that moment on, I understood that I would be trained to travel alone in the underdark though traveling thus I would also learn more than could be taught at home. It was the only way to join the ranks of the elders. It was the only way to understand. It was the only way to become one with shadow. And when the time came, I would again meet him. He, of darkness and mystery. Only he could pass you on and approve your task and now I worked steadfastly for that day.

A year passed and my knowledge grew, my skill grew, I no longer pined for any of the trivialities of comfort. There was no time for such thoughts, though I did occasionally miss Kami and my family. The elders assured me that my family would understand for I was not the first of my kin to seek the shadowdance.

It was made clear that my mission would be to add to the voluminous collection of poisons our clan had discovered over time. Every man or woman that embarks on this trial must return with a new poison of a new creature that could only have come from below. You were set to memorize what was already found and understand the uses of them to aid you on your journey. You were to memorize the much shorter list of known, but as yet undiscovered toxins and venomous creatures and you were to understand how to identify the qualities of a poison should you encounter something unheard of.

There were many days in the alchemy lab that none save the elders knew of. It had been built by ‘him’ and the elders had been trained by ‘him’. As I could not use my name in the world, nor could we know his. It was taught that we would bring great danger and terrors upon our village should certain forces learn of what we know and have. They would know who taught us and they would destroy us in their hunt for ‘him’. The reasons behind this were unimportant, only that you understood that you were bound to secrecy at the risk of the destruction of all you knew, friends, homes, and our way.

Finally the day came when I would be blindfolded and brought before ‘him’. You could not learn of his locale or how to contact ‘him’ until you proved you could overcome the underdark. I knew my mission, I was equipped with the knowledge passed on to me and I stood alone in a clearing to wait in the dark.

I waited. I was told to practice patience and vigilance and to stand up against fear and that these traits would grant my approval. I waited for an unknown time. My eyes grew heavy as I searched the darkness around me. I wondered if a beast might kill me first for I was given no weapon and no torch. I wanted to walk away from that place, but I did not know where I was or which way I could go. Trapped, trapped, by stupid old coots and some weird elf. No, no, the anger comes from the fear. I must be calm. As I chastised myself, I put my head into my hands for just a second. That is when he came.

From nowhere, from everywhere, without a sound, it could hardly be real. I sucked in my breath when he touched me and I raised my head up. He was behind me and yet I knew not what to do. Do I turn to face him? I stood unmoving, wondering if he had heard my quick breath.

“I carried you in my arms as a small child, I remember you. Your face was full of joy though you were as scared as the others. Joy and trust. You knew that you need not be afraid despite the emotions of youth.
I heard your gasp when I approached young one. That will get you killed below the surface. I could forbid you go on that alone. I will not. Now turn to look at me. See what your enemies will look like.”

I turned slowly, on the verge of tears.

“But you are not my enemy, are you?”

“Take this seal, Lightfoot daughter, and know that when next you look upon one like me, you must kill or be killed. Now go child.”

With that he was gone as I stood there facing where he had stood. I did not even see him step away and my questions were only answered with more questions. Was I ready? I need now only give his seal to the elders and my life was to change. A life of shadow, together and apart.


-Jon